STOP! If you’re thinking about what you’re doing, you’re probably doing it wrong

Hey guys,

Asher here, I’m one of the head coaches here and have been running workshops for over 5 years, and also been talking to clients on the phone *every day* for most of that time. (Well, not the weekends.  Those are for workshops, or if I’m not working, ME.)

One thing I’ve noticed is that guys are all hung up about their body language.  The thing is, they’re right.  You *should* care about your body language.  It makes a HUGE difference in how you’re perceived.  (Not just by girls, by *everybody*).  If you don’t already know this, you’re either new here or haven’t been paying attention. 

BUT

(and this is a big BUT)

They’re totally blowing it most of the time.  Every time a guy tells me about his body language, it’s within the context of some interaction with some cute girl that he’s totally interested in.   What’s wrong with this, you ask?  Here’s the thing: If you’re thinking about your body language while interacting with a girl, you’re not paying any attention to HER!

If I need to explain to you why this is bad, we probably need to talk.  (Email me about an evaluation call…)

Hopefully you get it.  This is retardedly bad.  Imagine some guy in a boxing ring thinking, “Ok, keep my guard up.  Throw a jab. Keep my wrist straight. Keep my other hand up.”  He’d be toast.  That stuff needs to be *automatic* for him to have ANY chance at success.

This is the point.  If you want your body language to make a good impression on a cutegirl you met on adultfrienedfinder, it has to happen automatically.  Seriously, auto-pilot needs to be driving your body.  You need to keep your attention free so you can pay attention to HER!

So how do you do this?  Simple. You do it just like the boxer; you train.  Think about it, a boxer is going to learn how to box BEFORE he gets in the ring, so by the time he’s there, he doesn’t have to think about it.

Body language is an easy one to train because of one simple fact: You can do it by yourself.  This isn’t true for flirting or having a conversation.  If you’re doing that by yourself, you’ve got problems. 

Here’s the trick.  When you’re at home, alone,  pay attention to your body language.  This is the time that asking yourself questions like, “Am I taking up lots of space? Is my spine straight? Am I relaxed?”  When you get up to grab something from the fridge, walk cool.

This is exactly how the workshops work.  When you’re in the classroom with your coaches, you’re training.  We can give you feedback and make sure you’re doing it right.  THEN we go outside, and not a moment before.  Anything less would be irresponsible.  That’s like sending somebody into the ring with Mike Tyson without making sure they can box first.