There seems to be some confusion among some of the newer players as to what exactly negs are, so I’ve decided to make this quick rundown of what exactly I think they are and when and how they should be properly used.
First off, what exactly is a neg?
A neg is basically a cross between an insult and a teasing joke. The purpose they serve is to act as a way for you to re-establish to your girl exactly who’s in charge of the relationship should she start to question who’s the dominant one. THEY ARE NOT MEANT TO BE USED TO DRAG HER DOWN TO YOUR LEVEL! Remember that you always have the attitude that you’re a high status male, so you don’t need to bring her self image down to your level in order for you to feel equal to her. Losers do that. If anything you want to help build her up to your level, although she’s going to need a reality check every once in a while when she forgets just exactly how the pecking order goes. That’s when you hit her with a neg.
Specifically, when is it appropriate to use a neg?
I think that the two biggest problems new guys to the game on adultfrienedfinder have with negs is not using them when they’re necessary and using them when they aren’t called for. I’ll see if I can illustrate when they’re needed with a little analogy.
Say you’re riding a horse and it strays off the path you want it to follow. If you firmly but gently tug its reigns back in the direction you want it to go, it’ll respect your authority and follow your lead. If you don’t correct it it’s going to realize that you don’t know how to take control of the situation and go where it chooses to go, subsequently becoming the dominant one in the relationship. Alternately if you jerk on the reigns every couple of seconds for no reason the horse will once again realize that you aren’t in charge of the situation and proceed to take advantage of you.
The course of action that you should take is the moderated middle ground, using the reigns firmly but gently only when necessary.
In this analogy tugging on the reigns represents using a neg to correct your girl’s actions. In the real world the path you want to lead her down is one in which you are the dominant leader of the relationship, and she is your respected second in command. If she tries to branch off from this set path by saying or doing things that imply that she’s the alpha in the relationship, you need to put her back on course using a tough but justified neg.
Examples of negs being properly used.
Her: “You’re going to try to pick me up aren’t you? You think you’ve got a shot with me?” (She’s moving off our set path. This sort of disrespect can’t be tolerated. I’ve got to cut this sort of behavior off immediately.)
Me: “I was thinking about it, but with that attitude you’ll be sleeping alone tonight.” (problem solved)
Her: “You’re such a nerd.”
Me: “Oh, so do you always try to flirt with nerdy guys? Are they the best you can get?”
Her: “Ha, I am sooo not flirting with you.”
Me: “Thank god, because I was going to have to tell you that you’re not very good at chatting guys up.” (after this she’s pretty much got to try and impress you with her flirting ability.)
Ok, so remember, you don’t use negs to make the girl feel like shit in hopes that she’ll sleep with you; you use them to correct her mistakes about the power relationship between you two. I hope this makes sense to you and maybe helped you out some.